My annual Christmas Cry
eyes puffy and I feel spent
…spent in the way one feels after going way over budget on Christmas gifts.
This sorrow that haunts me
the Ghost of Christmas Past
is a gift of its own
The glow of this season has been the lighthouse in a very stormy life from as early as I can recall, sacred and imbued with the expectation of miracles.
From childhood into adulthood, brightened even more by the glow from my own children’s eyes, my inner child has remained strong through the years with the help of Christmas. This holiday has always helped my heart find its way home.
Christmas is also the time of year when my life was broken…like a favorite bulb that falls from the tree and splinters into pieces. That was 8 years ago this week and since then I have a love/hate relationship with this complicated holiday.
The thing I’ve noticed is that from down here on the ground under the tree, I see so many others who have been broken at this time of year. The gift in the mix of it all is that I’ve also seen great examples of courage and resilience, faith and determination…and yes, inner children who still live strong if not a good deal wiser.
I hope to be one of the beautiful broken ones, who being emptied of expectation, can reflect the light of hope because God’s love shines and redeems.