“Will you please row with both oars together…for heaven’s sake!! We’re not getting anywhere like this!”
Trying to reason together using an either/or mindset can become a lot like that, too.
In my experience, I gain a richer understanding of something (and the someones talking about it) when I consider the both/and rather than simply the either/or. Either/Or postulations leave conversations way off course, in my humble opinion.
Many years ago, in the late 90’s, I read an issue of the Mars Hill Review while at a Young Leaders Conference discussing postmodern thought.
The idea of both/and compared to either/or was discussed, intriguing my ever seeking mind.
I began to filter my quandaries through that consideration to find the added perspective very helpful…not only within my own process but also in helping people with disparate ideas find common ground on which to base progress.
It also helps break down barriers that harsh judgements can create. There are far fewer things that I see in black and white since that conference. Now a whole palette of rich color creates a much more resonant vision of life.